Planning a proposal your partner will love
Disclaimer: I am a professional photographer, not a certified couples counselor or relationship expert. This is all opinion!
Before you begin to make arrangements to propose to your partner, ask yourself these questions first:
Do you know if your partner wants to be married? If your boyfriend/girlfriend or partner has expressed negative opinions about marriage I would pause before surprising them with the big question and instead start a conversation to revisit their feelings about marriage in itself.
Do you and your partner make plans for the future together a year in advance or more? Do you go on trips and vacations together? Answer is yes, that's another green flag.
Have you discussed getting married to each other before and was it a positive conversation? If you answered yes and yes then that is another green flag my friend.
Let's get started on these 5 proposal planning stepping stones:
1) Choose Private or Public
To get started, decide if your partner will appreciate an intimate moment alone or if they would enjoy sharing the moment with their friends and family – or even a crowd of strangers.
2) Be Simple or Be Grand
Whether private or public, your proposal can be simple or grand . You could create a grand proposal and keep it private. Or you could be simple but propose publicly and vice versa.
For example you could plan to simply drop to one knee without a long speech and do it in the middle of times square. That's public but simple. Or you could set up decorations and perform a dance, and do it at home. That's grand but private.
If you have a hard time being creative then keep things simple. This is perfect if you are a person of few words. If creativity is your strength then try doing something grand.
3) Include Thoughtful Details
The Ring:
It goes without saying but I will still cover it. A standard to any proposal is usually a ring. Make sure to be thoughtful and select a ring that you think your partner will like. What kind of jewelry do they already wear? This can help give clues to what style they may like. You can also ask a trusted friend to help.
Timing:
Be sure to schedule a time that will not conflict with any other important obligations or responsibilities. It would be so sad if you made arrangements only to have your partner say they have an appointment. Getting them to surprise would be so difficult!
What Happens Next:
Consider what happens after the proposal. The hope is that given the right answer it'll be cause for celebration. Don't forget to plan something to celebrate together immediately afterwards. Which also brings me to:
Plan for Worst Case Scenario:
Plan for the worst and hope for the best. If the answer is no, be prepared with a respectful reply and a prompt for what to do next. Continue with the date? Leave the location together or separately? Continue the conversation or table it? Having a plan can help you navigate the moment with grace when both of your thoughts and feelings may be in disarray.
Whew, but let's not dwell on that case.
4) Don't Be Suspicious
Don't be suspicious, don't be suspicious…🥷
Once you have a plan do not give yourself away. Being nervous can make acting normal difficult, so write up a few talking points to explain away your strange behavior. That way you have excuses to fire off naturally.
Also, if a family member or a friend cannot keep a secret I would probably leave them out of the know.
5) Plan for Your Partner Not for Yourself
The goal of proposing marriage is to get married. Get things started off on the right foot by creating an experience that feeds their love language. If you both share the same love languages or love language then you are in great shape to plan something you will both be obsessed with.
If you're the one asking the question, I think it would behoove you to cater to their language first and foremost. Here is a list of five love languages and a few examples to incorporate that into a proposal:
Words of affirmation
Perform a poem or give a speech professing your love and dedication
Acts of service
Prepare a nice meal or complete a task that they do not enjoy doing themselves
Receiving gifts
This naturally is a part of proposals if you are presenting me to ring. But be creative! Also gift an item that you know is on their wish list.
Quality time
What is something your partner enjoys doing? It could be hiking reading or gaming.
Physical touch
Who doesn't like a massage?
Getting A Photographer Involved
Capturing the proposal with a professional photographer is an easy way to elevate your proposal from simple to grand. It is also a way that may feed into your partner's love language. And of course, I am completely bias to this idea. But seriously, think about this:
Is their love language acts of service?
Going through the trouble of scheduling and planning a photographer is an act of service. Especially if you are a man in a relationship with a woman. Many women do a lot of planning for their boyfriends. Guys, a lot of women find planning sexy!
Is their love language receiving gifts?
Being able to present your partner with professional photos of such a happy moment is a precious one-of-a-kind gift.
Is there love language quality time?
Posing together for professional photos will be a lot of fun and a cool experience. I think every couple should try at least once.
In Conclusion
Choose a private or public proposal
Be simple or be grand
Thoughtful details matter
Don't be suspicious
Plan for your partner not for yourself
And of course, I think you should get me and my camera involved 😉
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